“Sometimes the greatest breakthrough isn’t receiving a diagnosis—it’s finally understanding yourself.”

One of the hardest parts of living with a mental health condition is that you don’t always realize you’re struggling. Sometimes the behaviors become so familiar that they simply feel like part of your personality.

One of the biggest signs was my intense fear of abandonment. On the outside, people saw someone who loved being around others. I was outgoing, social, and genuinely enjoyed connecting with people. It probably looked like I simply had a big personality and loved making friends. But internally, it was much deeper than that. I constantly feared people leaving me. I worried I wasn’t enough to make people stay.

Ironically, while I desperately wanted people close, I also struggled with self-sabotage. I’d push people away, then panic when they created distance. It was a confusing cycle. I didn’t understand why I kept repeating those patterns because, at the time, I didn’t realize fear was driving so many of my behaviors. Looking back now, I can see those patterns much more clearly.